Tuesday, June 23, 2009

This is SO un-PC I Shouldn't Post It, But I Will Anyway

I have NOT been able to get this song out of my head for two days.

Backstory: When I went to visit my daughter in Italy last month, we saw a gorgeous guy with well-coiffed, very Italian hair wearing tight red jeans, wide belt, shiny shirt, pointy-toed shoes... And I said, "You know, in the US, there's no way that guy would be straight."

Yet hanging on his arm was a supermodel type.

Later that day my daughter played me this song, from the play "Legally Blonde."

And now it will be stuck in YOUR head. You're welcome.




P.S. My son is doing well, going for blood tests every week so we can figure out how things stand before deciding on a course of action. So far everything looks very good. We'll know more in a couple of weeks.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Conversations Which, In Retrospect, You Probably Shouldn't Have With Your 14-Year-Old Son

Son: Uh... So in case you were wondering, we're...uh...having sex ed this week?

Me: Oh, yeah?

Son: Yeah. Like...HIV-AIDS stuff.

Me (the wise one, who's already parented two kids through this stuff): Oh. Is this where you learn to put a condom on a banana?

Son: WHAT?!?!?

Me: Oh. I guess not, huh? Never mind.

Son: Wait. What? I'll never look at a banana the same way again.

Me: Oh. Sorry.

Son: What is it, like, "For the banana who's looking for a good time?" Or "How a banana gets ready for a party?"

Me: I believe...yes. You've got it.

Son: Okay, mom, you can stop buying bananas now. Like...forever.

THE END

For the record, he is fourteen years old. And he says he does have friends who have already had sex. Which, with luck, did have something to do with condoms, despite a lack of banana training.

I think the friends are all or mostly girls. Don't want to pry for fear of shutting off the spigot. When I suggest that girls who have sex at this age may well have self esteem issues, he rejects it and blames TV. My guess is we're both right. But I was very relieved to discover that he's as shocked by this as I am.

I am desperate for him to get into honors classes next year so he can be around a whole bunch of other kids who don't see this as normal behavior.

Sigh.

The world has changed since I was a kid.